Another tough night.
She says we're making progress.
I don't even know what we're headed towards.
10 days left.
After that, I'm not married. I'm living with a woman who is "seeing other people".
I don't want that. But, it is no up to me.
If I express how much pain it causes me, I make things worse.
But, I can't not feel the pain.

Time is running out.
I feel totally helpless.
I'm told I'm loved, but that it is a huge sacrifice to be faithful to me at the same time.
I don't understand that.
I'm confused, sad and running out of hope.

So, the other day when I asked for suggestions of good things to do with my
wife in the time remaining in her hiatus from her lover, I was hoping to
get some.
( come on )

I’m very worried about the end of the year when the hiatus between my wife
and her lover ends.
I wish that by the end of that time she’ll say “what did I see in that guy
anyhow?”
I’m sure that is too much to ask for. But, I still wish it.
We’re trying to build new, good, memories together. The museum trip
yesterday was a good one.
But, we can’t go to a museum each day.
She gets mad if I buy her presents.
Doing laundry, cooking dinner, mopping the floor, and vacuuming were all
things I was doing before, so they don’t count for much.
If you believe the movies, 35 days is more than enough time. And December
is the perfect time to do it. Too bad I don’t believe them…
But, I’d still be happy to take any suggestions.

There are good days and bad days.
Today was not a good one.
Hopefully things will be better.
36 days of safety. I’m told not to think of it that way.
But, I can’t get it out of my head.
I’m terrified of what will happen when her promise not to be in touch with him ends.