My wife came to rescue me tonight and we tried the jumper cables one more time.
It started!
Go figure.
We took it to the garage and left it off there. Hopefully it is not an expensive fix. But, as my wife pointed out, the tow cost would have been 10 hours of diagnostic charges, so it's good it started.

P.S. Checked the battery voltage at lunch. 12.8 Volts. But, even with that, the little LCD clock in the dash wouldn't even show the time. So, I don't think it is the battery.

It had to be jump started this morning moments after having a full battery put in it.
Tonight, it wouldn't start at all. A total brick.
Sad.
I think there is a problem with the ignition switch or something related to it. Hopefully that's not too expensive to fix.
Sad.
At least my wife came and rescued me. That was very nice of her!

My car's battery let me know it needed charging today. So, I think it heard me say how much I liked the rental.
Charging it wouldn't be bad except I have to bring the battery in to do it.
So, my wife and I went out in the cold and dark after I got home from work and fished it out of the car. It's charging now. I'm going to wait until dawn to put it back in.
If only the electricals weren't possessed by evil... But at least they have a little flash dance to let me know when they're going to do. Then, I don't have to find myself with a dead car while off somewhere.